


Listen

by hurricaneharmony



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: CS AU, Divergent AU, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-05 00:45:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3098681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurricaneharmony/pseuds/hurricaneharmony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all makes sense now.</p><p>The way he’d been acting ever since the night she tried to give up her magic-passionate, almost desperate. He was always present, closer than ever and yet somehow, so distant. He’d skim his palm down her arm as they walked, then let his hand settle at her waist to pull her tighter to his side. She’d turn to find him gazing at her so softly but so insistently that it made her turn away again. It was like he was analyzing her, memorizing her. Like he was losing her.</p><p>Like he thought they were running out of time.</p><p>
<i>A 4x10 speculation based on the Four/Tris fight scene in Divergent where he’s under a sim. It breaks my heart every time.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Listen

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is from forever ago, and was already up on Tumblr, but I'm just posting it here now. Trying to get organized to start off the year!
> 
> If you like it, come fangirl to me about FourTris and CS parallels because THERE ARE SO MANY. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.

It all makes sense now. 

The way he’d been acting ever since the night she tried to give up her magic-passionate, almost desperate. He was always present, closer than ever and yet somehow, so distant. He’d skim his palm down her arm as they walked, then let his hand settle at her waist to pull her tighter to his side. She’d turn to find him gazing at her so softly but so insistently that it made her turn away again. It was like he was analyzing her, memorizing her. Like he was losing her. 

Like he thought they were running out of time. 

His eyes had been so open then, so blue, and his heated gaze made her feel warm. Now, they are cold and threatening, flat and dark. She can see Gold leaning casually against a tree across the clearing with Killian’s glowing heart in his hand, raised near his mouth. He takes a puppet-like, menacing step forward, and she hesitates as she holds her ground. She’s never been afraid of him before— but this isn’t _him_. 

“Killian.” she says carefully. “It’s me.” She raises her hands, palms out in surrender, and steps forward. He stands frozen as she lifts her hand to his cheek, slowly, carefully, like she’s trying to tame a wild animal. She cups his face in both of her hands, while his arms hang at his sides. “It’s me. Look at me, Killian.” 

There is no recognition in his eyes. No falter in his steps or trembling in his fingers as they lunge for her throat. She ducks under his arm and backs away. 

“Killian, this isn’t you. Gold’s got your heart.” He draws his sword and points it at her chest, and she conjures one with her magic. It would be funny if it wasn’t so awful, she thinks. They’re right back to before, back to Lake Nostos, to _love is weakness_. She wishes he could share in the joke. 

She is no match for his three hundred years of swordfights. He must have been holding back at Lake Nostos, because now his blows send her reeling, his precision is deadly. 

“Killian, _please!_ ” she punctuates each word with a block of her sword, stumbling back as he continues to advance, looming over her. She’s never seen him like this. Heartless, in the truest sense of the word. Ruthless. Cold. He’s dangerous. 

Her palms are itching with the impulse to protect herself, to spark up her magic and send him flying across the clearing. She could do it. But this isn’t _him_. Killian is all measured words and bated breaths and kisses that linger long after he leaves. He is all heart. Without it, he’s only a machine. But saving him wouldn’t be some grand sacrifice- she’s more selfish than that. She needs his words as badly as he needs to say them. She needs the warmth of his arms, the timbre of his voice in the dark, the way he smiles at her like she is soft and delicate, and kisses her like she’s invincible. She can’t lose him. 

But he’s gaining on her. His sword narrowly misses her head, but as she ducked back he pushed, hard, and she’s falling to the ground, scrabbling away in a desperate, terrified crabwalk as he looms over her, eyebrows drawn together and eyes dark. He pushes the tip of his sword into her jacket, and she sends it flying away with a blast of magic. And then, before she can blink, he’s straddling her hips, his hand at her throat. 

“Killian, _stop._ ” she gasps. “It’s me. It’s Emma.” 

Across the field, Gold raises the heart to his lips, and hisses, “ _do it.”_

His fingers tighten, and her palms come to life. He doesn’t seem to notice them glowing beneath him, light sparking and swirling with a threatening sort of beauty. She has to do it. She _has_ to. She has a town to save, a son to fight for, parents and a baby brother to rescue. She has people she loves. But she also has this love, _his_ love to fight for. And after all he’s done for her, she can’t just give up on him. Not when it isn’t even his fault. 

But her vision is blurring at the edges until all she can see is the blue of his eyes, and then she’s reaching down, pulling his arm up, placing the tip of his hook into the opening of her jacket so it pushes at her chest. He releases her throat and she gasps in a sputtering breath, but he presses harder on the hook. She feels it pierce skin. 

“It’s okay.” she whispers. “It’s okay. I love you.” She wishes she could have told him. He’ll never know. “I love you.” His eyes look blank. She grabs his chin, gripping tighter when he tries to shake her off. 

“Killian, look at me. It’s Emma. It’s me. I love you. It’s okay.” She rambles. “I love you.” He stares. She cups his face in her hands, thumbs at his lip. And then he’s blinking, hard, and shaking his head. His eyes widen as they settle on her again. 

“Emma.” 

She breathes out, closes her eyes as tears pool at the corners. The hook slides off her chest slowly, and he nudges his face further into her hand, looking agonized and dazed. She gives herself a moment to breathe him in, to revel in the fact that she’s _alive_ , that somehow he _remembered_ her and broke free and he’s still here- and then she whispers, 

“Go.” 

He rolls off of her and pulls her to her feet in one swift movement, before crumpling to his knees with a groan between his teeth, clutching at his chest. She takes one look at him, then fixes her gaze on Gold. He’s digging his fingers into Killian’s heart with a smirk, and she _loses_ it. 

It’s surprisingly easy to defeat Gold. Before she quite knows what she’s doing, she’s shoving her palms out towards him, and he’s flying backwards, and then Killian’s heart appears in her hand. She cradles it to her chest, and she kisses him hard as she returns it to him, swallowing his grunt of pain and soothing the ache with her palm pressed to his skin, over his heart. He presses her to him, whispering apologies over and over until she silences him with another kiss. 

She’s curled into his side late that night in the backseat of her car, her head against his chest. His heartbeat in her ear is steady and stubborn, like a soothing, rhythmic lullaby, and her eyelids droop as he presses yet another kiss to her temple. 

“How did you do it?” she whispers, “How did you… break free?” 

“I don’t know.” he breathes out into her hair, “I just… heard you.” 

It’s quiet for a long moment, for the first time in weeks. Her legs are cramped from sitting in the car for so long, but this is the only place they could be alone, the only way she could escape the ever-present voices and demands of the townspeople, her parents. She needed some time to just be Emma, not the savior, to just be with him. He strokes her hair, then nudges at her chin with his fingertips so her head tips up to look at him. 

“Did you mean it?” he says, his eyes darting across her face but never meeting her gaze. “What you said during the battle?” 

Her stomach lurches, but she nods. She tries to smile shakily. 

“I love you.” he whispers. “I love you.” She closes her eyes and breathes in his words, lays her head back down on his shoulder and presses a kiss to his neck. He reaches for her hand, and she lets him pull it to his chest, feeling his heart leap under her fingertips. “With all my heart.” 

He holds her all night, with cramped knees and aching necks and their hands linked together. She lets the lullaby of his heartbeat, steady and sure, rock her quietly, finally, to sleep. 


End file.
